II. Elementary Principle of Composition (b)
一个没有经验的作者有时会用松散句式堆积起整个段落，使用诸如 and、but 连词或者较少用的 who、which、when、where 和 while 等非限制性定语从句关系代词。比如下面这段糟糕的文字：
The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening and a large audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, and the Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. The former showed himself to be an artist of the first rank, while the latter proved itself fully deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the series has been very gratifying to the Committee, and it is planned to give a similar series annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May 10, when an equally attractive program will be presented.
除了空洞的陈词外，上面的这个段落在句式上也是糟糕的。试比较下面的一段，摘自 E. M. Forster 的《Two Cheers for Democracy》的“What I believe”一章：
I believe in aristocracy, though – if that is the right word, and if a democrat may use it. Not an aristocracy of power, based upon rank and influence, but an aristocracy of the sensitive, the considerate and plucky. Its members are to be found in all nations and classes, and all through the ages, and there is a secret understanding between them when they meet. They represent the true human tradition, the one permanent victory of our queer race over cruelty and chaos. Thousands of them perish in obscurity, a few are great names. They are sensitive for others as well as for themselves, they are considerate without being fussy, their pluck is not swankiness but the power to endure, and they can take a joke.
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
in spring, summer, or winter (in spring, in summer, or in winter)
一些关联词（both、and；not、but；not only、but also；either、or；first、second、third；等等）后面的句子必须保持相同的语法结构：
It was both a long ceremony and very tedious.
The ceremony was both long and tedious.
He noticed a large stain in the rug that was right in the center.
He noticed a large stain right in the center of the rug.
You can call your mother in London and tell her all about George's taking you out to dinner for just two dollars.
For just two dollars you can call your mother in London and tell her all about George's taking you out to dinner.
New York's first commercial human-sperm bank opened Friday with semen samples from eighteen men frozen in a stainless steel tank.
New York's first commercial human-sperm bank opened Friday when semen samples were taken from eighteen men. The samples were then frozen and stored in a stainless steel tank.
Toni Morrison, in Beloved, writes about characters who have escaped from slavery but are haunted by its heritage.
In Beloved, Toni Morrison writes about characters who have escaped from slavery but are haunted by its heritage.
A dog, if you fail to discipline him, becomes a household pest.
Unless disciplined, a dog becomes a household pest.
在主语和动词间插入内容会影响句子的通顺性。但有时在圆周句中需要使用插入来制造停顿。（见规则 22 下的例句。）
There was a stir in the audience that suggested disapproval.
A stir that suggested disapproval swept the audience.
He wrote three articles about his adventures in Spain, which were published in Harper's Magazine.
He published three articles in Harper's Magazine about his adventures in Spain.
先行词的结构有时比较复杂，把关系代词置于最后可能会造成歧义，如：“A proposal to amend the Sherman Act, which has been variously judged…”这时需要把关系从句前移：“A proposal, which has been variously judged, to amend Sherman Act…”另外，同位语可以插于先行词和关系代词之间，因为不可能造成歧义。
She only found two mistakes.
She found only two mistakes.
The director said he hoped all members would give generously to the Fund at a meeting of the committee yesterday.
At a meeting of the committee yesterday, the director said he hoped all members would give generously to the Fund.
Major R. E. Joyce will give a lecture on Tuesday evening in Bailey Hall, to which the public is invited on "My Experiences in Mesopotamia" at 8:00 p.m.
On Tuesday evening at eight, Major R. E. Joyce will give a lecture in Bailey Hall on "My Experiences in Mesopotamia." The public is invited.
Chance prevents Friar John from delivering Friar Lawrence's letter to Romeo. Meanwhile, owing to her father's arbitrary change of the day set for her wedding, Juliet has been compelled to drink the potion on Tuesday night, with the result that Balthazar informs Romeo of her supposed death before Friar Lawrence learns of the non-delivery of the letter.
The Friar confesses that it was he who married them.
在转述他人的文字或思想的时候（如概括一篇论文或是演讲），不要滥用“he said”、“she stated”、“the speaker added”、“the speaker then went on to say”、“the author also thinks”等等。在开篇时就应当一次性指明下面的文字是一段概括，之后就不要在这上面浪费笔墨了。
Humanity has hardly advanced in fortitude since that time, though it has advanced in many other ways.
Since that time, humanity has advanced in many ways, but it has hardly advanced in fortitude.
This steel is principally used for making razors, because of its hardness.
Because of its hardness, this steel is used principally for making razors.
Four centuries ago, Christopher Columbus, one of the Italian mariners whom the decline of their own republics had put at the service of the world and of adventure, seeking for Spain a westward passage to the Indies to offset the achievement of Portuguese discoverers, lighted on America.
With these hopes and in this belief I would urge you, laying aside all hindrance, thrusting away all private aims, to devote yourself unswervingly and unflinchingly to the vigorous and successful prosecution of this war.
Deceit or treachery she could never forgive.
Vast and rude, fretted by the action of nearly three thousand years, the fragments of this architecture may often seem, at first sight, like works of nature.
Through the middle of the valley flowed a winding stream.
* GnuDoyng 注：句子的圆周性（periodicity）指的是句子一直到句末其语法才完备的性质，在句末之前，常常伴随着某些短语或从句的周期性重复。如哥林多前书第 13 章第 2 节（NRSV）：
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 years ago